Spomin, pozaba, fantazija

Menda si je Hemingway vzel življenje zato, ker se ni mogel sprijazniti z dejstvom, da ga je začel zapuščati spomin, dotlej neizčrpni vir in zlati rudnik njegove pisateljskega navdiha in imaginacije. Pred par dnevi sem pa prebral novelo »A Slow Boat to China« sodobnega japonskega pisatelja Harukija Murakamija in v njej prvoosebni junak, pisateljev alter ego, tudi ugotavlja, da ima slab in nezanesljiv spomin, vendar daleč od tega, da bi bil zaradi tega obupan, depresiven, ali celo samomorilen. Ne toži in ne pritožuje se, svoj slab spomin sprejme kot dejstvo, s katerim hoče samo seznanit bralca, mu ga opisat in prikazat, ne v dobrem in ne v slabem smislu:

»…Tako zdaj tisti moj spomin nima datuma, kot ptice na nebu nimajo imen. Že tako ali tako večina mojih spominov nima datumov. Precej nezanesljiv spomin imam. Tako nezanesljiv, da se mi včasih celo zazdi, kot da hočem s to nezanesljivostjo nekomu nekaj dokazati. Vendar nimam pojma, kaj naj bi bilo to, kar bi hotel dokazovati. Sploh pa je nekaj, kar je dokazljivo z nezanesljivostjo, že samo po sebi težko dojeti. Kakorkoli, kako naj rečem, se pravi, moj spomin je precej samosvoj. Včasih zamešam vzroke in posledice, včasih se mi pomešata resničnost in domišljija, včasih celo zamešam, kar sem videl sam in kar so videli drugi. Mogoče temu sploh ne bi mogli reči spomin…«

Murakami nas prepriča, da je lahko tudi slab spomin zlat rudnik pisateljskega navdiha in imaginacije. Da nič od tega, kar smo kdaj videli, slišali, doživeli, in četudi potem pozabili, ni za zmeraj in dokončno izgubljeno; če drugače ne, si pa lahko ponovno izmislimo ali izsanjamo, in je to na nek način prav tako resnično kot tisto, kar smo pozabili.

Skratka, po domače, praktično prozaično, kot bi rekli Srbi: »Iz svega može da se sagradi kuća!«

Mi, ki smo pesniške duše, bomo pa tole seveda malo lirično raztegnili, razvaljali in okrancljali: »Iz prahu pozabe se zasvetijo zlata zrnca spomina in iz teh svetlečih drobcev nastane fantazija…«

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5 odgovorov to “Spomin, pozaba, fantazija”

  1. lordwales komentira:

    Edo, spomin me še ne daje, bolj da Trst dobi novega starega župana.
    Roberto Cosolini, prepričan levičar, naklonjen Slovenski manjšini.

  2. Sabina komentira:

    Edo, tole si pa tako lepo predstavil in spisal, da sem si knjigo dodala na seznam svojih, ki jih želim prebrati.
    Sem prepričana, da me navduši kot tvoje besede:
    ‘Iz prahu pozabe se zasvetijo zlata zrnca spomina in iz teh svetlečih drobcev nastane fantazija…’
    Hvala.

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